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The Bravery of Now

We can get so caught up, that the “now” is often highly disregarded in life.  We visualize the end results of ambitious projects and what that will afford us instead of the day to day activities that get us there. Some of us spend so much time focused on transformation and growth that we may not have allowed ourselves the time to reflect on current circumstances and feel totally present.

My home is somewhat beautifully designed but partially organized.  I lose my immediate moments as I drift around in a haze of dreaming about bigger and better things.  What brings me back to now are set activities like cooking or solving problems of space and function around the house. The growing piles of personal papers, etc. near my desk are symbolic of being overwhelmed, indecisive, or dreaming about handling it all in the future when the time is “right”. The time rarely comes and my piles become neatly stacked and higher.  

With work, I am very much in the moment as I plan out ways to block out my time each day to stay deeply devoted to specific tasks. Several years ago I had a co-worker who was always dreaming, had a constantly messy desk, and used to talk to me about plans she had for the future for herself and her children – like traveling to Spain, getting remarried, learning interesting new skills. Ultimately, we were all shocked one day when we realized that she was killed tragically in a car accident. All of those plans she had.  It was very sad. Traumatic circumstances can make us get back to the moment.  Scare us into letting go of the imaginary and only embracing what is in front of us now.

As a mother, I might be deep in the moment of planning for the future but then jolted into the moment by something crazy, funny, or brilliant my child says that allows for great creative dialogue with her.  Driving her to school, I have had moments of anger when she wouldn’t listen to me about some planned task and the next moment erupt in laughter at something we noticed simultaneously like a man moonwalking down the sidewalk.  That is life.  Shared moments of beauty.  

The truth is, the past and future only live on in our minds, but the now is everything.  Finding the strength to honor yourself, show up as you are in every moment, and not some imaginary version of who you might become requires bravery.  Each moment, each task equates to your life.  That is all.  How you fill those moments is your prerogative.

How many times have we said to ourselves, “once I do this”, “once I have this”, “I will feel____”?

Here are 8 ways to stay in the present:

• Realistic Goal-Setting: Try to break down your goals into the smallest steps to focus on each item in the present.
• Engage in activities that move at a slower more methodical pace like gardening, painting or drawing, knitting, or reading.
• Be aware of your conversation style.  Practice active listening to fully engage with another person to build an authentic relationship based on flowing dialogue.
• Go into the natural world and breathe it in deeply.  Allow yourself some silence to reflect on that moment of unity with the natural environment and how we are rooted in it. Journal about it.
• Self-expression releases current feelings and thoughts of the past and future into a new creation that is unique and always healing.  We don’t just paint a still life, we paint our version of what we see based on ideas about ourselves and what we associate with our identity (colors, movement of brushstrokes, shapes, etc.).  
• Practice gratitude with photography:  Capture the moments of the day that you are most grateful to be in. Create a collage of all the days photos to reflect on.
• Storytelling: Gather friends or family in a circle and take turns sharing stories.  Practice active listening and immerse yourself in each person’s narrative.
• Mindfulness apps that provide various length meditations that bring you deeper into a practice.