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Trust, Old Friend, I Will Fight For You

A while back, I found myself immersed in a trust workshop at a retreat. This was a presentation about implicit bias, but this particular activity threw me off. We were instructed to write down everyone we trusted. People that we felt really had our back in the workplace and beyond. I froze. Most of the time I’m trying to prove my competence and confidently power through my tasks like a semi-truck. I only had a few people on that list. I went home and later that night, sat down with a glass of wine, pen in hand, and tried to recreate that list for my personal life. Again, not an impressive outcome.

I pose this general question-
How do we navigate the world with diminishing trust and still become successful and happy human beings in healthy relationships?

How do we keep life events from knocking us down and closing us off to the world? Trust that everything will be ok. Trust that what we offer the world is valuable. Trust that the universe or god has a plan for is us. I guess the most powerful thing I possess is a fountain of hope and self-awareness to realize I can do better and have better no matter what. I am afraid for those that don’t have that..

Here are 6 ways to rebuild your trust in humanity from Psychology Today post:

• Stay in one place. There is something magical and exotic about taking off to this amazing destination or that new city or region of the country, but it is also a way to never plant roots and sever friendships.
• Ground yourself in a routine. I often find myself bored with routine and need to mix it up. I also know that it is the healthiest thing for me. My daughter is a perfect example. Kids thrive off of routine and when you don’t put one together, things feel chaotic and you can see it expressed in your children.
• Give a little and see what you get. We HAVE to put ourselves out there a little bit. For me, a little develops into a lot and I can make huge adjustments and get out of the rut. Ask your neighbor for some coffee when you’re out. Pick up the phone and call your friends instead of texting endlessly. Make a plan to get together with a co-worker. Take a class and meet others.
• Make plans for the future. People who have problems with trust may have experienced some type of trauma. Trauma creates hopelessness and a sense of a foreshortened future. Take some time to make short term and long term plans so there is also something that feels good and rewards you right around the corner.
• Trust an animal. The companionship and affection seem to build confidence, “a safe haven or secure base”.
• Stop painting red flags green. We need to trust in ourselves the first time a signal is in front of us. People who struggle with trust often regret that their “picker” is broken, although we’ve rationalized the red flags and turned them green in our minds. Ask yourself what you would tell a friend to do in your situation for perspective.

I can write my list now with more ease. It will never be too long, but it will be of exceptional quality!