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  • Marie H.

Nourishing the Heart of Self-Discipline


In popular culture, self-care is a booming topic with pathways to slow down, pamper, meditate, and live with intention and mindfulness. We are hopeful something will stick and balance out our tendencies to obsess, self-deprecate, and self-sabotage . Setting ourselves up with goals and attaining the discipline to achieve them is an act of self-love. Whether our actions come from our unrelenting willpower or small "Tiny Habits" that stick to larger routines, we can lead ourselves to mastery and building our worth.


On Cyber Monday I was bombarded with popups on my computer, tv, and phone about phenomenal deals. I'll admit that my mind was swirling as I contemplated what to buy first. As a new homeowner, I haven't been able to run out and decorate my house exactly how I dreamed in the first few months, although I was striving for this perfection. I have a tendency to be easily distracted by shiny, beautiful things that are often way out of my price point. Luckily, I came across a Clubhouse room talking specifically about women and money. Clubhouse is an audio chat app that inspires some thoughtful discussions. It's like a podcast that you can talk to. A woman in the group made a comment about self discipline being self-care. It stuck with me. I was motivated to take a breath and not make any impulsive purchases that night. I realized that by resisting the instant gratification of the immediate purchase and slowing down to recognize the benefits of long-term planning, I would be achieving a type of self-mastery and self-love. I can now see that self-discipline can be the ultimate form of self-care that we can structure independently.


Whatever goals we have - weight loss, exercise, saving, owning a home, let's give ourselves some compassion to build routine, treat ourselves delicately, and allow our strengths to emerge one step at a time. Through those smaller victories, self-worth increases exponentially, and we're able to grow in our boldness towards loftier ambitions.


Some of us innately have an incredible amount of willpower and can consciously regulate the self. Here is an interesting video/illustration about how willpower works.


Others might need to compromise a little more. The "cold turkey" method might prove to be terrifying for some! The book "Tiny Habit's by BJ Fogg, PhD teaches another way to work towards goals. The power of attaching tiny habits to our regular routines produces results that give us the confidence to add more habits and have more impact.


The next time I'm down on myself because I haven' t booked that facial or massage for "me" time, I'll realize that sitting down, embracing a preferred form of self-discipline, and resisting impulsivity might be the best gift of love and empowerment a person can manifest.


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