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  • Marie H.

Letting Go of Who You Thought You Were

Who do you think you are? No really. What is the story you tell yourself and how did it develop over time?


The ego holds on to so much. It is relentless and may have our 40-year old selves defining our identity by a 10th grade student council win, the one year we started running and lost 30 pounds, or the time we were at the top of our game.


Some people with amazing accomplishments under their belt that deeply defined their identity might find themselves needing to let go of that identity later on. Not letting go of the memory, just the labels, in order to make room for something new. Additionally, some people just adopted the definitions that others gave to them and might be realizing later in life that this was skewed. What a way to stay stuck - when you are still doing what worked for you 20 years ago and you can’t understand why it won’t work now. In order to grow, we have to let go. We have to say, “I am no longer that person”, in order to get unstuck and move on to the next chapter.


A growth mindset will lead us to our next phase. It allows us to be accepting and have patience as we learn. The more we experience new things and meet new people, the more our brain changes. This type of enlightenment is especially important for those of us entering midlife or experiencing a disconnection between who they imagine they are versus how others see them. Imagine missing out on a life-changing job or relationship because it is not what we initially imagined would happen.


Here are a some ways to reframe your perspective:

  • Remember that you are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are fleeting.

  • Every single experience teaches you.

  • Let go of labels.

  • Change your routine. Add something unexpected.

  • Add empowering rituals to your life.

  • Give back. Purposefully build new connections and experiences.

  • Accept yourself as you are now.

  • Take a character strengths assessment.

  • Stop trying to please everybody.