Curating Life in the Limitless Unknown
The unknown can be a magical place full of discovery and delight - a wild ride. It can also be frightening and debilitating. Thrusted into the unknown either by choice or by force can take a toll on well-being. How truthful we are with ourselves will determine our ability to withstand waves of change and transform into what we envision.
Almost 10 years ago, I was forced to come to the realization that my engagement was failing and that I would be caring for my child alone. At 37, there was nothing I wanted more than a child but what I was not going to do was put us in a completely dysfunctional family situation. I decided to continue planning on my own for the birth of my little human. Really, nothing can prepare you for the transition from 37 years of childless, often carefree, living to caring for a helpless and impressionable child every moment of every day of your life. This type of unknown became my life’s mission which continues today and the reward and love from it is like nothing I have ever known.
Fast forward to now. Strategically, I’ve built a career that has led to a new position and a move to California after 9 years in my home state of Wisconsin. I’m here in my new home, waiting for all of my belongings to arrive on a truck next month, pondering possibilities and how to guarantee a smooth transition for myself and for my daughter who is not so happy about leaving her friends. I’ve been reflecting on what it will take to build “la dolce vita” from the unknown. Somewhat of a blank slate, I have become the careful curator of what comes next and certain elements in life that can take me there.
Trust
Trust in myself, but additionally, building trustful and authentic relationships. Doing the work that is sometimes uncomfortable. Putting myself in vulnerable moments to connect with others when it doesn’t always come naturally. That is when relationships can thrive. I can be a particularly private person with my home and daily routine, so it takes extra effort to let people in. When I think back to the most wonderful friends I have, they all came about through shared intense life experiences. It builds a deep level of trust that can withstand the test of time.
Tolerance for Change
Finding yourself in the unknown requires the ability to embrace change. The ability to wake up knowing that things will never be the same and your mind must be open for adaptation. The favorite places that used to bring you so much joy are no longer an option. Think of yourself as an explorer embarking on an adventure. All things are possible.
Growth Mindset
Understand that nothing is set in stone. Be like the stream and flow in a natural state. Statues are fixed in place, representing a moment in time. We are fluid, not stone, and we ebb and flow with the currents of life. When we fail we pick ourselves up and try a new angle. Contentment comes with the patience of working towards something and the realization that it will take as long as it takes to get there. A growth mindset is how to live in peace while seeking new things.
Character Strengths
Last but not least, take the time to explore what makes you tick vs. fade. Learn what parts of your character are dominant and need to be fed. Once you recognize and feed those parts of you, the world feels much kinder and aligned. My top strengths are honesty, creativity, hope, and love. These traits help guide me. When I am feeling unsettled, I come back to these. They make up the compass that steers me. This is so important to do this work. So many of us have skewed views of our identity based on other people‘s opinions or how we were raised.
Although I am not someone that has studied manifesting greatly, I believe that we have to express the vision we have for our future through journaling, painting, photographing, or vision-boarding. Days, months, years move fast. Capture your vision in some type of concrete way and start putting those pieces together. The unknown is less scarey was we gain confidence in our abilities to achieve our goals one piece at a time.
